create: heart strings and wanderlust

Inside of my mind is a giant mess, it's a shattering vase and a leaking tap. I'm coming undone like a button and coming up blank. I need to take a step back from myself to feel myself again.

I have been learning to use a new camera (which I am borrowing for a short while) - a DSLR. I've never owned nor properly used a DSLR therefore I have been teaching myself. The ever-dimming light of inspiration within me has now been fuelled and I itch to create once more.
This collection of pictures explains my last few days which have lacked sleep but not longing. Once I wrap my fingers around a capable (more capable than mine) camera to call my own, my entire being will ignite.

I have developed a new love of black and white, of harshness and of slightly unfocused photographs.

These pictures are filled with aspiration.

my future home with a stretching driveway (picture hanging in my loves' living room)

from the bookshop my boyfriends' mother owned

dozens and dozens

Bren took out his guitar on Thursday night and took my breath away. I fell in love over again with the beauty in his voice and a strength which I have not heard from him in the past year of patched singing. Each chord tugged at heartstrings and tears striped my cheeks. There is more beauty in people than in places and if I could explore peoples' inner; their thoughts and feelings, the way they perceive pain and how they view the world, I wouldn't need sails or wings to adventure, I'd see the world a million times over in a million different ways. This is where to me, words become power. To me, words are identity. To others; music may create character. People evoke such fascination within me.

how i love those clumsy, callused fingers

Today, after rushed sleep parting the moments where I was biting my fingernails in anticipation, I filmed for what will hopefully come together as a short film. Stress pulled at me and an anxiety still lays in my stomach about my footage but in the gentler moments I took photographs of the beautiful friend who I was filming.